One of the most effective tools I have found to help my kids stay connected to Daddy is the photograph. This may seem overly simple or corny but because children don’t develop abstract thought until preschool age, any representation of Daddy needs to be exactly like him or else they may not make the connection. And through preschool, a child’s sense of time and memory is so fluid that if pictures of Daddy can be incorporated into his/her daily life he/she will remember him being there. Of course as they get older, children are able to use pictures to preserve memory and stay connected to someone they miss.
Over the next few posts I’m going to highlight some of the ways that I have used photos to help make sure my husband is a part of our children’s everyday lives.
Using Pictures to Connect: Photo Books
I am not a cropper. While I admire the end result of the creativity and time of those who create fabulous scrapbooks, I am more of a plug and play kind of person. I also gravitate towards things that I can give to my kids and not worry about being destroyed. I’ve used or created a variety of different book type products that have become my first go-to and favorite overall for keeping Daddy in our daily life. I love that my kids can hold onto them and look through them with me or alone. I also love that each can be used in different ways. I especially love that they are easy to take with us and don’t require batteries.
1) Plastic/cloth photo album
My husband has been pretty good about taking pictures of the places he goes and some of the things he does in those locations. Using inexpensive plastic and cloth photo albums I’ve created a little library of “Daddy Books.” One is about life on board ship. One is about life in the desert. One is about using different equipment. One is even about the things that Daddy ate!
Sometimes I put captions in these books, but usually I just let the kids look through them and tell me about what they see in the pictures. Sometimes they ask questions and sometimes they make up some pretty funny stories about what they think Daddy is doing. We’ve also used them to play games like “I Spy” or “Make up your own story” which have saved the day a few times when restaurant service is slow or a plane has been delayed….
Daddy Books
2) Picture book
Reading aloud to the kids before bed is an entrenched part of our evening routine. There are many documented skill benefits of reading aloud to children such as increased literacy, academic advantage, better communication skills, and enhanced imagination. But reading aloud also creates a wonderful opportunity for bonding and giving personal attention to each child at the end of the day. I typically allow the kids to select their own books for story time and amongst their consistent favorites are books that they star in.
Picture books made from your own pictures are great ways to read about the adventure of your own life. There are many companies that allow you to upload digital images into book formats on their websites. They then print the books and send them to you. Children love to look at these books and see/hear the stories of things that they have done and of places that they have gone. Having books that tell the story of the child doing things with the parent they are separated from is a wonderful opportunity to keep parent and child together in the child’s heart and mind.
Note: Most of the companies that create picture books use a hard cover with paper pages which is not always ideal for younger children but there is one company that prints custom board books in the United States (http://www.pintsizeproductions.com/). With all of these products, the images should be high resolution (at least 300 dpi at the size they will print) or else they will look “grainy.”
MY Story Book
3) Story cards
This idea isn’t exactly a book, but it is still fun. I like printing single pictures then gluing them onto a piece of card stock that is a little larger than the picture. (A 4×6 picture onto a 5×7 piece of stock.) The pictures on each card do not need to be related per se because with a stack of different images (places, people, things…) you can create your own unique story board then shuffle or replace images and make up something new again. You can even add dimension to the story by showing the picture upside down or on an angle.
This type of story-telling is wonderful way to encourage imagination and creativity. It also helps develop skill sets that will ultimately be necessary for school. And it can have therapeutic value by giving the child a great opportunity to use the cards or images to express something that they have been thinking but didn’t have the words to say themselves. I really like using the picture cards because multiple people and different age groups (like my preschooler and tween) can all enjoy this activity, even at the same time.
A few different ways to use the cards:
- One person uses all of the cards to tell their own story. (For younger children you can separate the cards into categories such as people, places, and actions to help them understand critical components of storytelling.)
- Each person is given the opportunity to select cards from the pile and add to a story that the group is collectively developing.
- Each person is given a few cards from the pile and, by taking turns, can put one card down per turn to embellish the story started by the person/people before them.
Next week - Using Pictures to Connect (part 2): Picture Crafts
***
Alia Reese is the spouse of a US Marine and mother of 2 children. She holds a Master’s Degree in Psychology and used her experience raising children through her husband’s multiple combat deployments to create the award winning American Hero Books® series. For more information please visit www.heartstarpress.com, connect with Alia Reese -author on Facebook, or contact Alia at info@heartstarpress.com.
But I think that it will be worth your while, because where else would a discussion of helping kids stay connected to their military parent be sandwiched between conversations on Marijuana and Sexting?
